Collin's THIRD Birthday Party

We had so much fun at Grandma and Grandpa's house yesterday for Collin's 3rd birthday party. His birthday isn't until Wednesday, but we had to do a weekend party so all his favorite people could come. 
He is such an awesome and sweet kid. Everyone who knows him loves him. He has a kind and big heart and a big personality to match. He loves his family so much, too. They all spoil him rotten and he is still so appreciative and sweet. I love that kid to death!
We had a blast playing games at Grandma's house and watching the girls sing. Collin got up and sang California Girls and Poker Face for the family. I really didn't think he would even though he said he wanted to. He is pretty shy about those types of things. But he got up and danced and sang! It was so funny and cute! He would look to me if he forgot the words so I would mouth the song along with him. So funny! Everyone clapped for him at the end and he was SO happy!

Collin and Merner watching the recording of him singing and dancing. LOL

I was so emotional all day. McClain's sister was just starting conversation with me the other day and was like "Can you believe he won't be your baby anymore? Are you okay with that?" And to be honest, I am not. I only planned on having Collin. I didn't want any more kids because I feel like people keep having kids and neglecting the previous one(s) and I don't want to be one of those people. I know my LOVE for him will only keep growing and my heart will make room for baby #2, but I have a serious PHOBIA, if you will, about him feeling 'abandoned' when the new baby comes. I am sure that's not the way it works, I just have always felt that time with a new baby will take away time that Collin and I have shared alone for 3 years. I don't want him to be hurt or sad.  I love him so much!

So, needless to say, that is what the emotion was about yesterday and is what it is about right now as I sit here and cry while typing this. I LOVE MY SON... ENDLESSLY. I cannot believe that on this Wednesday, three years ago, my little Eskimo was born. We have been through so much together and as a family and this is the last year he will be my one and only. We will have two little precious beings to love and take care of.... and it scares the bejesus out of me. I want him so much to stay the little boy he is today and know that just because our family is growing that he is STILL my #1 and always will be. That he was my first love and those feelings will never change and that I am going to do my very best and try my very hardest to MAKE him know that nothing is changing. That he will always be included no matter how frustrated, tired, onry, or whatever I am. 

Yesterday was a real eye-opener for me. Not that these things hadn't ever crossed my mind, but my little boy going on 3 and knowing that next year (well, in 4 months) we will have another babe just made for an emotional day. 
I love you Collin McClain. You are my angel and my 'boyfriend'. You are my best buddy and my life. YOU will always be mommy's sweetheart, Koala, Monkey Buns, Pumpkin (and sometimes my little stinker, too). I LOVE YOU! Happy Birthday!